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S.O.S.
S.O.S. is the sixth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 11 and the 231st episode overall. It aired on July 22, 2013. Characters Red Team *Sarge *Simmons *Grif *Lopez 2.0 *Donut (Voice Only) Blue Team *Washington *Tucker *Caboose *Freckles *Sister (Mentioned Only) Other *Locus Plot In the cavern, Caboose is heard activating the unknown object, while sounding very excited about it. Meanwhile, Washington continues his repairs on the communications tower, with some assistance from Tucker. The Reds suddenly arrive and offer their services to Washington, but he declines. Sarge then suggests several other ideas to Washington, including using Lopez 2.0, but the latter turns them all down. Wash suggests that the Reds check on their food rations instead, but the Reds refuse. This, unfortunately, soon leads to a severe argument between the two teams. However, Lopez 2.0 sees the problem with the communications tower and manages to fix it, although everyone assumes Washington got lucky and managed to fix it himself. Washington then promptly radios for help, and although at first nobody answers, Donut eventually responds. Sarge explains the situation to Donut and tells him to contact command for help, before providing him the coordinates to their location. Wash then informs Donut to inform the rescue team that their location isn't exactly based on the coordinates. Nonetheless, Donut takes their instructions and agrees to call in a rescue for the group, leaving the Reds and Blues ecstatic. They promptly begin celebrating for their eventual rescue, but Wash warns them that it might take days before they're rescued. Caboose suddenly joins the group and introduces them to his pet "Freckles", a giant war robot, which leaves the group speechless. Freckles attempts to attack Grif and Simmons, but Caboose orders him to stand down. Elsewhere, an unknown soldier is seen listening to Washington's S.O.S message. Transcript A machine whirs from within the cavern and noises arise in the background. Caboose can also be heard Caboose: 'It's alive. It's alive! He's ali- Aw, now it's dead. ''(short pause) ''No, it's alive again! Oh, thank God that was close. ''Cut to black. Fade in and pan to a shot of Tucker and Washington repairing on the comm tower 'Tucker: '''Ok, how about now? '''Washington: '(hits radio twice) Nothing. 'Tucker: '''Hold on. (''short pause) Ok, try it again. 'Washington: '(hits radio) Still nothing. 'Tucker: '''Balls. '''Washington: '''Hey, what exactly are you doing down there? '''Tucker: '''Oh, you know.... Calibrating. '''Washington: '...Calibrating. 'Tucker: '''Yeah. '''Washington: '...You haven't done anything, have you? 'Tucker: '''Dude, I don't know what I'm doing or why you sent me down here. '''Washington: '''Right. Guess I should have expected that. '''Tucker: '''Hey Wash, I think we got a situation. '''Washington: '''What kind of- ''(looks down and sees Red Team) ...Oh. '''Grif: Good to see you too. Washington: 'What do you want? '''Sarge: '''Figured it be a good idea to come over and lend a hand. '''Washington: '''No, that's a terrible idea. Please don't touch anything. '''Simmons: '''But we could provide tech support! '''Sarge: '''Have you tried using any D batteries? '''Washington: '''Power isn't our problem. These battery arrays are solar. '''Sarge: '''Well, there's your problem. This baby needs to be converted to diesel on the pronto! '''Washington: '''Solar is field-standard for communication systems. '''Sarge: '''Well ooh-la-la, Private Hippy! Hey, I got an idea; why don't we just plant a garden in? Grow some organic sun-dried tomatoes, and open a farmer's market. Then on the first Saturday of the month, when the UNSC ships show up to buy some fresh sustainable produce, we just hop on board and ride back on the power of love! '''Washington: '...Tucker, if they touch anything, or if he makes any more suggestions, prod them with your sword. 'Tucker: '''Ha ha, now that's something I can get behind! Bowchickaboww- Wait, no! No no no no no! '''Sarge: '''Fine, well I guess you don't want any help from our incredibly advanced robotic companion. (''beckons to Lopez 2.0) 'Lopez 2.0: '''Hola. Hello. '''Washington: '''Nope! ''In the background 'Grif: '''Racist! ''In the foreground 'Sarge: '''Hey tree-hugger, what if I told you it runs on recycled cooking grease? It's perfect. Grif sweats the stuff. '''Grif: '''What else was I supposed to drink once we ran out of soda? '''Simmons: '''There's always water. '''Grif: '''Please, what are we, cavemen? '''Washington: '''I said no. '''Lopez 2.0: '¿Seguro que no quieres ayuda? Esto parece un trabajo relativamente simple.you sure you don't want help? This looks like a relatively simple fix. 'Tucker: '''Whoa, is that Lopez?! '''Simmons: '''Not exactly. (''whispers) This one isn't very smart. 'Lopez 2.0: '''En serio chicos, estoy viendo el problema. Lo puedo arreglar justo ahora.guys, I'm looking at the problem. I can fix it right now. '''Tucker: '''How can you tell? '''Sarge: '''Oh, a mother knows. '''Lopez 2.0: '''Bueno, si nadie me va a detener, voy a arreglar su torre de radio.if no one is going to stop me, I'm going to fix your radio tower. ''Lopez 2.0 walks towards the base of the comm tower. 'Washington: '''Why don't you three go check on our food supply? It's been a while since I've done a full inventory. '''Simmons: ' You can't shove your bitch work on us! What do we look like? '''Tucker: Uhhhh... Bitches? Wash: Tucker, I want 100 squats. Tucker: What? But it was leg day yesterday! Wash: You are a space marine, private. Everyday is leg day. After a moment of doubt, Tucker starts doing squats. Tucker: This is bullshit. Grif: Ha! Who is the bitch now? Tucker: Your sister was my bitch if I remember correctly. Grif: What did you say to me, bitch? Wash: No one is a bitch, now both of you be quiet. Grif: .... Simmons is kind of a bitch. Simmons: Hey! What the fuck?! Sarge: Ah, can it Private Bitch. Simmons: ''(sulks)'' Yes, sir. Tucker and Grif: Bitch. Washington: I said be quiet! Wash punches the radio box. The radio tunes up. Grif: Holy shit. Washington: It's working. I-I don't know what I did but it's working! Lopez 2.0 emerges from under the comm tower. Lopez 2.0: ¡Camaradas! ¡He reparado la torre de radio! ¿Están satisfechos con mi trabajo?I have repaired the radio tower! Are you pleased with my performance? Sarge: Lopez, you're ruining the moment. Washington: 'Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington, can anyone read me? Over. ''No response. 'Grif: '... Maybe they're screening our calls. '''Simmons: What do mean "they"? Who's "they"? Grif: '''I dunno, people who know us? '''Simmons: What? Grif: Look, I wouldn't pick up the phone if any of you fuckers called me. Washington: Mayday, mayday, we are survivors of a shipwreck, and are in need of immediate rescue, please respond. Tucker: Don't call them back right away, you gotta wait, or else you'll look desperate. Simmons: But we are desperate! Washington: '''EVERYONE SHUT UP! '''Grif: '''Woah... '''Washington: Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington and the red and blue troopers of Project Freelancer! We are stranded, does anyone copy? No response. Washington: 'Mayday, this is Agent Washington, I am a soldier. ''No response. 'Washington: '''Is anybody out there? ''No response. 'Washington: '''Can anybody hear me?! ''A voice can faintly be heard on the radio. 'Voice: '... Hello? is someone there? '''Washington: Yes! Yes, we're here! Do you read us? Voice: '''.....Hello....is this...prank call..... '''Washington: No no no no, this is real, please you have to listen to me! My men and I are shipwrecked! Simmons: Its an emergency! Grif: '''Black Hawk down! '''Sarge: '''Code Red! '''Voice: What? Like a lightish red? Everyone pause''s ''for a short moment taking in what the voice just said Tucker: 'What the fuck did he just say? '''Voice: '''Cause I mean, red is a pretty broad spectrum. There's scarlet, vermilion, like a deep burgundy. ''Sarge approaches the radio '''Sarge: Donut, Is that you?! Donut: Sarge? Oh hey guys, what have you all been up to? Sarge: We're stranded in the middle of the jungle with dwindling food and limited supplies. Donut: That sucks. In the background Grif: No shit, dickhead! In the foreground Sarge: Donut, I need you to listen to me. You need to send help. Call command. Donut: Command? I think I know a guy if you want to turn this call into a three way. Sarge: No...Don't do that. I need you to write down these coordinates Washington turns to talk to the Reds Washington: Who is Donut again? Simmons: Cheery guy. Pink armor. Grif: Kind of stupid. Tucker: And a little- Washington: Wait, did I shoot him once? Grif: Bingo. Washington: Got it. And he's competent enough to trust with our lives? Cut to Sarge and the radio Donut: Sorry, did you say 'five' or 'nine'? Sarge: I said eight. Donut: Oh. Cut back to Washington Washington: Right... Washington walks back over to Sarge Washington: Okay, Donut, those are our last known coordinates but be sure to let the rescue team know that we've got no clue where we actually landed. Donut: Don't worry guys! No matter how deep the bush, Private Donut always finds his man. Sarge and Washington both look at each other nervously Sarge: Roger that son. Radio static cuts in Donut: What was that? Your breaking up. Washington: Just send help as fast as you can. Donut: Okey dokey! The radio loses connection and everyone goes quiet Grif: So, what happened? Sarge: Well boys, I don't want to jinx us or anything like that but... we're gonna be rescued! The Reds and Blues start cheering while Washington looks over from the Comm tower. In the background. Simmons: I can't wait to eat a hot dog! In the foreground. Washington: Now guys- Sarge: Theres no possible way anything can go wrong! Everything is going to be good forever! The group are still celebrating. Washington: Guys, it can still be a few days before they- Sarge: Lets eat all the food rations tonight and then fire all of our excess ammunition indiscriminately into the air and celebrate! The group are still cheering and are shooting their guns in the air. Simmons: Then lets fix up that old Warthog that's been hanging near our base! The group are still cheering then realize what's been said and quiet down with confusion Simmons: So we can crash it into the other Warthog because 'fuck it'! The group continue cheering Washington: Listen, lets not get our hopes up just yet. Tucker: Aw, come on Wash. Lighten up. We did it, we made contact. Washington: Well, it is the first good news that we've had in awhile. Caboose runs over to the group Caboose: Hey everyone! Washington: Caboose! Where've you been? Caboose: Yeah, I went on a walk like you said and now, everything is going to be good, forever! Sarge: Told ya' so! Washington: Wait, Caboose, you were miserable, what happened? Caboose: 'Oh, where are my manners? I haven't even introduced him '''Washington: '''Introduced who?... '''Caboose: '''FRECKLES! COME! ''(whistling) A series of loud, thuddering steps occurs, revealing the machine, the Reds and Blues silently look up slowly at the oncoming machine. '''Caboose: EVERYONE, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET FRECKLES! FRECKLES, say hello. Freckles: Enemy soldiers detected. Freckles takes aim at Grif and Simmons Caboose: No, those aren't enemies, Freckles. Those are Grif and Simmons... our enemy. Freckles: Firing main cannons. Caboose: No! Bad Freckles! Down! Freckles: Yes, Master. Caboose: Bad Freckles... Caboose turns back to the others Caboose: So, what have you guys been up to? Grif: Ehh...umm... Screen cuts black and fades into a murky, misty forest where Washingtons distress signal can be heard playing Washington'': Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington and the red and blue troopers of Project Freelancer, we are stranded, does anyone copy?'' No response Washington'': 'Mayday, this is Agent Washington, I am a soldier. A unknown solider is seen listening to the distress signal 'Washington: 'Is anybody out there? No response 'Washington: Can anybody hear me?'' The solider turns slowly and the screen blacks out before his visor is fully seen Gallery Wash punches the radio.png Grif, Simmons, and Tucker S11.png Wash and Sarge talk to Donut.png Wash and Sarge contact Donut.png Caboose calls his friend over S11.png Freckles steps in S11.png Caboose and Freckles 2 - S11.png Mystery Man S11.png Trivia *Sarge talking about using D batteries to power the radio is a reference to Make Your Time, where the key component to Lopez's weather control device was D batteries. *In the original web release of this episode Donut's lines were provided by Miles Luna for unknown reasons. Donut's regular voice actor Dan Godwin would later re-record them for the DVD release. *Freckles' HUD resembles one of the Mantis' HUD concept. *Tucker's "calibrating" statement may be a reference to the character Garrus from the Mass Effect series. *Freckles saying "Firing main cannons." is a reference to Sheila's statement of the phrase, whenever she attacks. *Caboose yelling "It's alive!" is a reference to the 1931 horror movie Frankenstein. Video Category:Season 11 Category:Episodes